Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
