That's intense
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
