I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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