she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
