I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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