is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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