I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
This couple is walking their pig around campus
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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