There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
