Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i just google imaged poop.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
