that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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