Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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