I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
you never un-have a 4some
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
