so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I need water and some morals
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
