I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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