Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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