How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
