you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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