And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
