I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
