he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
