K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My ass is underappreciated
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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