five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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