Only a mothe r could love this liver
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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