i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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