I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
