Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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