I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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