I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
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