the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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