Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I want to stick my p in your. b.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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