susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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