your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
someone owes me an orgasm
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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