Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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