he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
