; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It's shark week go big or go home
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
