Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
