Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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