just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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