Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
