No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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