I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
