don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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