I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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