So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
