Dual....:-)
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
