Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
