I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
