i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
