She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
