Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
