now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
